For reasons, some of them I understand and some of them I don't, I haven't blogged for over two weeks. I liken it most to hibernation. My soul is a bit battered I have to admit. But frankly, who's soul isn't a bit battered?
And double-frankly, what would life be like if everything went smoothly and graced us with only happiness all of the time? Ick. Boring. Vanilla. Please pinch me and wake me up from this wonderful dream!
I tend to allude to it only occasionally, but really, the reason and focus of this blog is to help me find my way through this period of my life. If we live long enough (like more than one minute) we are all faced with our changing lives and having to adapt to them. But certain phases are particularly difficult. And these days if you're so inclined, there is this opportunity to blog about it. My sincere hope for anyone who chooses to read this blog is that you find a comaraderie and the occasional inspiration to help you through whatever phase in life you are facing, whether you are finding it particularly difficult or not.
In other words this is not an online diary but hopefully a living, breathing dialogue that benefits me and you.
That said, I'm sorry I've bailed on you for the past two weeks. But honestly it will probably happen again now & then. It is my way. Sometimes I need to retreat. Sometimes I need to hibernate. I need to rest and lick my wounds. I need to be alone and to be introspective and to be quiet. I need to grow and to get stronger. And I need to wait for my compass to realign and point the way.
*****
Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart
I've seen Crazy Heart twice in so many days--the Jeff Bridges movie in which he's up for best actor tonight? Ok so it's crazy good. I will cry my eyeballs out if he doesn't win the Oscar. Go see it in the theater if you can. I don't want to spoil it by giving any of it away but let me say this .....I am the biggest fan of music but definitely not a big country music fan. As a point of illustration I went out of my way a few weeks ago to track down the only non-country music bar in all of Nashville, which I now regret. If you don't already know Crazy Heart is about a washed-up country-music man ....
(OMG and the literal thousands of parallels to ex-boyfriend musician Steve are literally hysterical starting with when he stumbles out of his beat-up thirty year-old Suburban after a long drive between gigs, with his pants and belt buckle undone .....and ending with when I ask him from my nice little suburban house in Virginia which hotel he's in while he's on the road and he answers he has no idea what f***ing hotel he's in, "Hell I don't even know what f***ing town I'm in!").....so after watching Crazy Heart, I realize I should have totally soaked up every bit of country music in Nashville while I had the opportunity. Nothing like being country music serenaded while staring down hard times. I should have totally been there.
Country music is perfect for this movie. And this is a near perfect movie. Go see it.
I want to leave you with the theme song from Crazy Heart which is also up for Best Original Song tonight and which also could be the theme song for today's post: The Weary Kind, Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett
The Weary Kind
(Theme from Crazy Heart)
Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett
Your Heart's on the loose
You rolled those sevens with
Nothin' to lose
This ain't no place for
The weary kind
You called all your shots
Shootin' eight balls at the corner
Truck stop
Somehow this don't feel like home
Anymore
This ain't no place
For the weary kind
This ain't no place
To lose your mind
This ain't no place to fall behind
Pick up your crazy heart and give it one
More try
Your body aches
From playing your guitar and sweatin'
out the hate
The days and the nights all feel
The same
The whiskey has been
The thorn in your side that
Doesn't forgive
The highway that calls for your
Heart inside
This ain't no place for
The weary kind
This ain't no place to lose your mind
This ain't no place to fall behind
Pick up your crazy heart and give
It one more try
Your lover's warm kiss
Is too damn far from your fingertips
You are the man that ruined the world
Your heart's on the loose
You rolled them sevens with
Nothin' to lose
This ain't no place for
