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Showing posts with label Poetry Girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poetry Girl. Show all posts

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Hart Crane (1899-1932)

A recent post in which I include a dictionary definition that features the poet Hart Crane, reignited in me a desire to go back and read more of his poetry.

Mr. Crane was considered one of the Modernist Poets--the poets who broke all the heretofore existing poetry "rules" more than any other preceding poetry movement.  The Modernists began-ish with the likes of Walt Whitman & Emily Dickinson and ended-ish with the likes of Anne Carson & Sherman Alexie.  The Modernist Movement existed from approximately the late-nineteenth century through the mid-twentieth.  The Modernists were brave and interesting and many will argue "rather difficult to understand".  Of that group, you will find T. S. Eliot and Ezra Pound at the helm.

Hart Crane was in many ways no different.  He was a true Modernist who relied heavily upon intricate metaphors and obscure historical references to express important ideas.  The Modernists were not known for reaching the "everyday" man and required you to "work" at their poetry.  I'm assuming at this point, I have lost many of you!  Which in our non-appreciation-of poetry-yet-incredibly-poetic-world-we-live-in is simply a reality.  I'm the epitome of a non-salesman, so no sales pitch here.  Go if you must.  But if you're even vaguely interested and if my comment about our poetic-world struck a chord, please read on ........

Hart Crane wrote an overall aesthetic of "celebrating crucifixion and resurrection, horror or squalor out of which suddenly radiate hope and light." (1)  He wrote like a Modernist, acknowledging poetically the bad-ness of the world and yet, in his case, expressing poetically the possibility-ness of it all.  It is this quality in his writing that makes me love him.                            
"He takes unusual words, combines them in an unusual way, and forms them into unexpected rhythms, as if his technique as well as his subject matter were intended to expand the boundaries of consciousness.  When he was reproved for the difficulty of his work, Crane explained, in a 1926 letter to Harriet Monroe, the editor of Poetry magazine, that his object was to find a logic of metaphor that would not be the logic of rational thought.  This pursuit of unconscious interconnections of "emotional dynamics" working through abbreviated thoughts is different from the explained images of the Metaphysical poets; it works by sudden forced conjunctions that find their justification at deeper levels of meaning.  Crane has as much complexity as any modern poet, but largely self-taught, he does not present himself as difficult and allusive; rather, his powerful speech and rhythms claim the instant response that his intricate images would seem to delay." (2)
Don't feel bad if you had to read that twice.  I think I've read it seven times at this point.  In any case, his work!  Here's some:

*****

BLACK TAMBOURINE

The interests of a black man in a cellar
Mark tardy judgement on the world's closed door.
Gnats toss in the shadow of a bottle,
And a roach spans a crevice in the floor.

Aesop, driven to pondering, found
Heaven with the tortoise and the hare;
Fox brush and sow ear top his grave
And mingling incantations on the air.

The black man, forlorn in the cellar,
Wanders in some mid-kingdom, dark, that lies,
Between his tambourine, stuck on the wall,
And, in Africa, a carcass quick with flies.
                                     --Hart Crane (1926)

Crane explains, in this piece, "The word 'mid-kingdom' is perhaps the key word to what ideas there are in it.  The poem is a description and bundle of insinuations, suggestions bearing out the negro's place somewhere between man and beast." (3)

This is me, adding food for thought: this was published in 1926.  Not 2010.  Have things changed that much?  Honestly now??  Changed???  Simply, are we still racists?

*****

In my opinion this next poem is breathtaking in its "simple complexity", and again, for its relevance to today.  Published the same year as Black Tambourine, Crane writes about Chaplinesque, ".....that I like the poem as much as anything I have done." (4)  He was a big fan of Charlie Chaplin and includes numerous references to Chaplin's The Kid in this poem--be sure to notice them.  Don't forget to notice as well, how the words sound/feel .....something all the great poets are known for.  Read it once, maybe, for meaning, and another time for sound.

CHAPLINESQUE

We make our meek adjustments,
Contented with such random consolations
As the wind deposits
In slithered and too ample pockets.

For we can still love the world, who find
A famished kitten on the step, and know
Recesses for it from the fury of the street,
Or warm torn elbow coverts.

We will sidestep, and to the final smirk
Dally the doom of that inevitable thumb
That slowly chafes its puckered index finger toward us,
Facing the dull squint with what innocence
And what surprise!

And yet those fine collapses are not lies
More than the pirouettes of any pliant cane;
Our obsequies (5) are, in a way, no enterprise.
We can evade you, and all else but the heart;
What blame to us if the heart (6) live on.

The game enforces smirks; but we have seen
The moon in lonely alleys make
A grail of laughter of an empty ash can,
And through all sound of gaiety and quest
Have heard a kitten in the wilderness.
                              --Hart Crane (1926)

*****

And finally, this one, quite coincidentally again published in 1926, that is simply ________ (fill-in the blank with a "good" word!).  Think about what it might mean to you .......don't worry at all about what it meant to him.  That simple rule is really the best way to read poetry.

REPOSE OF RIVERS

The willows carried a slow sound,
A sarabande (7) the wind mowed on the mead.
I could never remember
That seething, steady leveling of the marshes
Till age had brought me to the sea.

Flags, weeds.  And remembrance of steep alcoves
Where cypresses shared the noon's
Tyranny; they drew me into hades (8) almost.
And mammoth turtles climbing sulphur dreams
Yielded, while sun-silt rippled them
Asunder . . . 

How much I would have bartered! the black gorge
And all the singular nestings in the hills
Where beavers learn stitch and tooth.
The pond I entered once and quickly fled--
I remember now its singing willow rim.

And finally, in that memory all things nurse;
After the city that I finally passed
With scalding unguents (9) spread and smoking darts
The monsoon cut across the delta
At gulf gates . . . There, beyond the dykes
I heard wind flaking sapphire, like this summer,
And willows could not hold more steady sound.
                              --Hart Crane (1926)

Now if those words could not be more relevant to today as we belabor to stuff golf balls and tire remnants into a hole on the ocean floor (has anyone thought about that "pollution" btw?  millions of golf balls & pieces of tires??  in the ocean???) then I shall eat this blog!

Thank-you for your patience readers.  This was a long one.

*****

PS--the modernist poets usually require the most footnotes!
(1) and (2) Ramazani, Jahan; Ellmann, Richard; O'Clair, Robert, editors. The Norton Anthology of Modern and Contemporary Poetry "Volume 1 Modern Poetry". Third Edition. W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.: 2003. Print. Page 605.
(3) and (4) Ramazani, Jahan; Ellmann, Richard; O'Clair, Robert, editors. The Norton Anthology of Modern and Contemporary Poetry "Volume 1 Modern Poetry". Third Edition. W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.: 2003. Print. Page 607.
(5) ob.se. quy n. pl. ob.se.quies A funeral rite or ceremony.  Often used in the plural.
(6) According to Crane, a deliberate pun on his first name.
(7) sar.a.bande n. A stately court dance from the 17th and 18th centuries.
(8) Had.es pr. n. The underworld of Greek mythology; Hell.
(9) unguent(s) n. Ointment(s)


PPS--Here's a fascinating little Hart Crane factoid ......his dad was the candy manufacturer who invented Life Savers!!!!  (Can you imagine how a self-made business tycoon and a sensitive poet son must have gotten along?  Am guessing it wasn't smooth sailing .......)

WEIRD!!  Something else!  (I wonder if I'm the only one who's ever put this together? .....I just put it together now! ......probably not but still!)  Prepare yourself.  This is in the category of wildly speculative & horrifyingly juicy!  And incredibly p-o-e-t-i-c.

Hart was thirty-two when he jumped off a ship in the Caribbean Sea.  It's generally agreed upon that he committed suicide yet in the above footnotes, see The Norton Anthology only make it page 606, it says this!!!!  " .....he went on deck and jumped into the Caribbean Sea.  Accounts differ (cue Twilight Zone music ...now!) as to whether or not he tried to catch the life preserver (read: LIFE SAVER!!!!!) that was thrown to him."

I shouldn't be making so much fun.  Have to make sure I get credit for making amazing connection, somehow ..........oh!  Did I say that out loud?

*****

Hart Crane biography--Poets.org
Hart Crane biography--The Poetry Foundation

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Poetry Girl Sunday #9

This post is dedicated to my own mother--Virginia, a.k.a. "Ginny"

Of all the lovely poems about mothers, this is perhaps, my most cherished.  It was written by May Sarton to her mother, near the end of May's life.  It becomes more moving with each reading.  Happy Mother's Day sweet creators.

*****

For My Mother
     August 3, 1992

Once more
I summon you
Out of the past
With poignant love,
You who nourished the poet
And the lover.
I see your gray eyes
Looking out to sea
In those Rockport summers,
Keeping a distance
Within the closeness
Which was never intrusive
Opening out
Into the world.
And what I remember
Is how we laughed
Till we cried
Swept into merriment
Especially when times were hard.
And what I remember
Is how you never stopped creating
And how people sent me
Dresses you had designed
With rich embroidery
In brilliant colors
Because they could not bear
To give them away
Or cast them aside.
I summon you now
Not to think of
The ceaseless battle
With pain and ill-health,
The frailty and the anguish.
No, today I remember
The creator,
The lion-hearted.

                    May Sarton
                    1912-1995

*****

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Weary Kind

Oh my poor bloggy blog!  And readers, let me first fling open the door and sweep away the cobwebs before you come in ......

For reasons, some of them I understand and some of them I don't, I haven't blogged for over two weeks.  I liken it most to hibernation.  My soul is a bit battered I have to admit.  But frankly, who's soul isn't a bit battered?

And double-frankly, what would life be like if everything went smoothly and graced us with only happiness all of the time?  Ick.  Boring.  Vanilla.  Please pinch me and wake me up from this wonderful dream!

I tend to allude to it only occasionally, but really, the reason and focus of this blog is to help me find my way through this period of my life.  If we live long enough (like more than one minute) we are all faced with our changing lives and having to adapt to them.  But certain phases are particularly difficult.  And these days if you're so inclined, there is this opportunity to blog about it.  My sincere hope for anyone who chooses to read this blog is that you find a comaraderie and the occasional inspiration to help you through whatever phase in life you are facing, whether you are finding it particularly difficult or not. 

In other words this is not an online diary but hopefully a living, breathing dialogue that benefits me and you. 

That said, I'm sorry I've bailed on you for the past two weeks.  But honestly it will probably happen again now & then.  It is my way.  Sometimes I need to retreat.  Sometimes I need to hibernate.  I need to rest and lick my wounds.  I need to be alone and to be introspective and to be quiet.  I need to grow and to get stronger.  And I need to wait for my compass to realign and point the way.

*****

Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart

I've seen Crazy Heart twice in so many days--the Jeff Bridges movie in which he's up for best actor tonight?  Ok so it's crazy good.  I will cry my eyeballs out if he doesn't win the Oscar.  Go see it in the theater if you can.  I don't want to spoil it by giving any of it away but let me say this .....I am the biggest fan of music but definitely not a big country music fan.  As a point of illustration I went out of my way a few weeks ago to track down the only non-country music bar in all of Nashville, which I now regret.  If you don't already know Crazy Heart is about a washed-up country-music man ....
(OMG and the literal thousands of parallels to ex-boyfriend musician Steve are literally hysterical starting with when he stumbles out of his beat-up thirty year-old Suburban after a long drive between gigs, with his pants and belt buckle undone .....and ending with when I ask him from my nice little suburban house in Virginia which hotel he's in while he's on the road and he answers he has no idea what f***ing hotel he's in, "Hell I don't even know what f***ing town I'm in!")
.....so after watching Crazy Heart, I realize I should have totally soaked up every bit of country music in Nashville while I had the opportunity.  Nothing like being country music serenaded while staring down hard times.  I should have totally been there.

Country music is perfect for this movie.  And this is a near perfect movie.  Go see it.

I want to leave you with the theme song from Crazy Heart which is also up for Best Original Song tonight and which also could be the theme song for today's post: The Weary Kind, Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

The Weary Kind
(Theme from Crazy Heart)
Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Your Heart's on the loose
You rolled those sevens with
Nothin' to lose
This ain't no place for
The weary kind

You called all your shots
Shootin' eight balls at the corner
Truck stop
Somehow this don't feel like home
Anymore

This ain't no place
For the weary kind
This ain't no place
To lose your mind
This ain't no place to fall behind
Pick up your crazy heart and give it one
More try

Your body aches
From playing your guitar and sweatin'
out the hate
The days and the nights all feel
The same
The whiskey has been
The thorn in your side that
Doesn't forgive
The highway that calls for your
Heart inside

This ain't no place for
The weary kind
This ain't no place to lose your mind
This ain't no place to fall behind
Pick up your crazy heart and give
It one more try

Your lover's warm kiss
Is too damn far from your fingertips
You are the man that ruined the world

Your heart's on the loose
You rolled them sevens with
Nothin' to lose
This ain't no place for
The weary kind


Crazy Heart Official Website


Saturday, February 13, 2010

Dear Kathleen


                                   It is fitting after a fitful
                                   few hours
                                   to wake to a crow’s caw
                                   through a slightly open window.

                                   Wet snow muffles everything else.

                                   Goose down keeps me
                                   but cold air
                                   heedless and unknowing greets my exposed foot.
                                   The tang of warm
                                   grapey alcohol—
                                   undrunk wineglass on the nightstand—
                                   you, an odd comfort.

                                   Everything I see
                                   I haven’t seen
                                   since I heard you died.
                                   I’m so sorry.
                                           
                                   Now you know too.
                                                            --lgw

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Poetry Girl On The Last Day Of January



January

          Again I reply to the triple winds
          running chromatic fifths of derision
          outside my window:
                                          Play louder.
          You will not succeed.  I am
          bound more to my sentences
          the more you batter at me
          to follow you.
                               And the wind,
          as before, fingers perfectly
          its derisive music.
                               --William Carlos Williams



Winter Scene

          There is not a single
          leaf on the cherry tree:

          except when the jay
          plummets in, lights, and,

          in pure clarity, squalls:
          then every branch

          quivers and
          breaks out in blue leaves.
                               --A. R. Ammons


Sunday, January 24, 2010

Poetry Girl Sunday--Dear God

Today for Poetry Girl Sunday, I am featuring one of my favorite bloggers jenx67.  You can find her in my Golden Blogroll--down, down--in the right sidebar.  Her blog is dedicated to celebrating & commenting on all things Generation X; the generation loosely defined as those people born between 1961-1981 (the generation on the heels of the Baby Boomers).  One of the things that distinctifies Generation X is that we are aging.  Much to our surprise.
(btw, I was born in May 1961 so I am barely a Generation X-er--well me and George Clooney who was born 18 days before me--charming company although he appears to like years-younger women not days-younger women .....sigh)
Aging.  Not a new human experience.  If life is a mountain, it is as if I have reached a clearing near the top.  I've stopped here for awhile and am resting.  I look all around me--I can see the path I have taken to get here.  I can see others behind me, on their way up.  I can see those ahead of me on the path making their way down the mountain. I can see the path in front of me leading into the future.  It is, at once, magnificent and daunting. It is empowering and heartbreaking. Frightening and exciting.  Mysterious and certain. Validating and invalidating.

Dear God, why must life be so impervious, relentless, and unforgiving?

Two concepts of aging have quietly introduced themselves to me in my mountaintop clearing that go beyond the expected aging concepts in which you become less attractive and more frail : 1) other people in my life are aging too!  Oh no!! and 2) I feel the same as I always have ...only perhaps ...(only slightly) wiser.

jenx's poem "leaving you just when i needed to most" will possibly leave you perplexed.  But please read it not worrying about what jenx meant ....think about what it might mean to you.  The best poets want to leave you with an insight into your own life, not theirs.  After I read "leaving you just when i needed to most" this past week, without consciously bidding it, her strong images of loss and grief kept coming back to me. 

Who wants that you might ask? 

But from my mountain-top perspective, I know you can't live long enough to reach the clearing without experiencing loss.  And I realize I need to reconcile my own feelings of loss before I can move on.  I can't head into the future without a sense of peace about ALL aspects of life including the impervious, relentless, unforgiving, and yes, grief-filled aspects.

Ironically (or not--connections are everywhere if you look for them), the same day I read jenx's poem, I opened my new Mark Knopfler (of Dire Straits) CD, Get Lucky.  The second track is called "Hard Shoulder".

Read jenx's poem and let the images speak to you.  Listen to Mark Knopfler's "Hard Shoulder" too.  For me, perhaps inexplicably, they call out to one another and they are both calling out to me.  Think about the feelings they invoke.  Feel at one with each because you've experienced loss and disappointment and failure too.  Feel unburdened by kindred spirits.  Feel a connection to another human being.  Feel, no matter where you are on the mountain, a sort of transcendence beyond your moment by moment, minute by minute life--dare to feel it all; dare to feel the very most alive.

*****

leaving you just when i needed to most

Let me just tell the world:
I left you today
And I’m certain when I did,
I chipped a tile
From the Mosaic
The fractured Bride of God.

It seems I had no choice
For 25 some-odd years I’ve watched
The same man
Silver hair and a gold horn
He played it like me
But, safer
And, you know,

I didn’t.

I fancied myself bombastic
Like James the Less
And, now here I am
No more casseroles to supplant our superficial conversations
You left
Just when you needed me most.

And, so this is what I choose for myself
This fractured daughter of God.

I stuff the change in my cold Armani pocket
And, I hold the door behind me
For you, a stranger
Four gallons of water looped around your fingers
They sway you in the Oklahoma wind
You smile with heartbroken
Ghastly yellow teeth
And, say with Broadway exuberance
My radiator is overheating and
I have to have all this water just to get home!

You twirl oddly in the wind
Talking to the sky
And, I leave you.
Just like everyone else
And I carry myself, all privilege gone
To a business appointment
Which I want to abandon
To sit with you in the Oklahoma wind
Cradle you on this prairie
And tell you

Why do we answer questions
No one is asking?
Did you think your sorrow would escape me?
It did not

Tonight, you’ll cook your crank in a bath tub
But, only after we find a new radiator
Together at a junkyard
Just like my dad had to do a dozen times.
And, I’ll hold you in a rusted automobile
And beat my chest and say
We are having church!

My God, we are having church
All you effing sonsofbitches.

But, I am dreaming.
I have missed another opportunity
And, I was missed a dozen times
1,500 lonely days
We beat crickets off us while we watched Kimmy eat a bug.
Survivors. It was so long ago.

The radiator hisses
like the last summer of childhood
Lizard juice and burned rubber
The wishes boiled and smoked
And, I was too proud.
I wanted everyone to read my mind.

But, I would not change it
I am halfway to the skeleton frame
Where I belong.

I am leaving you.
I know.
You were innocent like me.
Keeping appointments
God never intended you to make to begin with.
                                                  --jenx67


Mark Knopfler, Hard Shoulder

Hard Shoulder

I've got latches for windows, handles for doors
Grinders and scrapers and sanders for floors
Rake for the gravel, chains for the snow
Always got the shovel - you never know
I never thought you'd go

Man's broken down
Man's broken down on the slip road
Got a slipped load
And it's a hard shoulder to cry on

Hacksaws and hammers, brushes and mop
Then I've got the ladders up on the top
If something needs doing, I always say
You want it done the proper way
I need you to stay

Man's broken down
Man's broken down on the slip road
Got a slipped load
And it's a hard shoulder to cry on

Give me a minute we'll be going again
Sound as a pound, right as rain
- right as rain
And it's a hard shoulder to cry on
- to cry on
                                                  --Mark Knopfler


PS--be sure to check-out jenx67--are you there God? it's me generation X

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

2010


Thursday, December 17, 2009

Little Tree


Little Tree

little tree
little silent Christmas tree
you are so little
you are more like a flower

who found you in the green forest
and were you very sorry to come away?
see     i will comfort you
because you smell so sweetly

i will kiss your cool bark
and hug you safe and tight
just as your mother would,
only don't be afraid

look     the spangles
that sleep all the year in a dark box
dreaming of being taken out and allowed to shine,
the balls the chains red and gold the fluffy threads,
put up your little arms
and i'll give them all to you to hold
every finger shall have its ring
and there won't be a single place dark or unhappy

then when you're quite dressed,
you'll stand in the window for everyone to see
and how they will stare!
oh but you'll be very proud

and my little sister and i will take hands
and looking up at our beautiful tree
we'll dance and sing
"Noel Noel"

                             --e. e. cummings

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Poetry Girl Sunday #5

A few songs on my playlist come from the "Bridget Jones's Diary" soundtrack I bought after I first saw "Bridget Jones's Diary" shortly after I read "Bridget Jones's Diary" (!!!)

Listening to them has made me realize I hadn't seen it for a long time, so last night Thing Two & I watched "Bridget Jones's Diary".

Thing Two--my almost sixteen year-old headbanger--remember?  The one who listens to his iPod in the car with ear-pieces firmly-in-ears because he can't stand the music I listen to ....in all fairness I'm not keen on whatever-metal-band-with-some-word-referring-to-death-in-its-name that he's listening to either.

So he shocked me by asking if he could watch it with me.  During the movie we both laughed our heads off.  BOTH of us, not just me.  I've always related to Bridget.  What woman doesn't?  But I realized, watching my too-cool-for-school teenager as he laughed at Bridget in her ridiculous moments and quietly felt for her in her painful ones, that we ALL relate to her. 

Doesn't it always come to this?  Don't we all just want to hear that people, in particular that certain "top person" ..............that they like us "just as we are"??  In all our ugliness & shortcomings & failures???  That they see also our beauty & our strengths & our moments of grace?

Van Morrison, Someone Like You
Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.
Bridget: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and... ah, the verbal diarrhea.
Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.
Mark Darcy: I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.

We all crave that kind of love.  Don't we?

*****

No Amount Of Money

would I take 
to sell away
the bowl of peach
blossoms, the snowy-
owl feather, the strands of hair you
tucked behind my ear,
the blunt stare
when I looked
which unnerved me but
sent small aches
to my toes and my fingers
and the tops of my ears--
the brush-moment 
your rough hand cupped 
my rib cage,

or the first kiss.
                         --LGW

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Poetry Girl Sunday #4

I have lost two dear family members this year.   I am 48.  Although it is not the sole domain of my age group--it is a fact of life that the older we get the more people who have mattered in our lives will die.

We humans have a hard time completely grasping death.  In my uncle's case, I hadn't seen him for years.  Yet his death affected me greatly.  I found myself wondering if he had any idea what he really meant to me?  He was an engineer who helped develop the tiles that kept the Apollo capsules from becoming fireballs as they reentered the Earth's atmosphere.  He was a curious-minded inventor.  He was a fun uncle.  He always got down on our level, literally.  There's a picture of my sister & I, we look like we're four & five at the time, on the floor with Omar.  He's showing us something--one of us is pointing excitedly.  We're all three enraptured by the excitment of it all. 

When my boys were approximately the same ages as Lisa & I had been, Mil & Omar came for a visit.  At one point I couldn't find anyone.  Finally I heard noises in the downstairs coat closet.  Omar had the boys in there showing them something you could see only in the dark.  Now, I ask you, if you heard a story about a woman's uncle who had her two little boys in the closet with him, what would you think?  But now that you know Omar, you know.  The piece of titanium alloy that he brought all the way from Los Angeles, just to show the boys, still sits in a place of honor on Thing One's dresser.

Omar was married to my mom's sister.  We all knew that Omar was the most brilliant member of the family--the family he married in to.  In a cruel twist, Omar spent the last ten years of his life losing his mind to something like Alzheimer's.  I never knew exactly what it was.  It didn't matter.  When he died in June on Father's Day, I hadn't seen him for nearly six years.  My every day existence was not going to miss him.  But did he know how much I loved him?  Why didn't I just tell him that, emphatically if necessary, before the end?

Death is so strange.  One second you're there like you've always been.  The next you're not

Speaking for myself, I'm not very good at remembering this as I'm caught up in the throes of regular day-to-day living.  I take for granted that you are always going to be a breathing, heart-beating influence in my life. Plus I tend to dwell, stew, on the things and the people and the things about the people that bother me--and often, I have no doubt, I am quite right to be bothered by them.  But when you're gone and it's all over, what is left has little to do with those things I spent so much time stewing on.

I'm going to leave you with two poems today that may seem a little disparate, but if you give them time to simmer together perhaps they will become good food for thought as we gather with our loved ones for Thanksgiving this week.

Those Winter Sundays

Sundays too my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze.  No one ever thanked him.

I'd wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
When the rooms were warm, he'd call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house,

Speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love's austere and lonely offices?
                                  --Robert Hayden


from To Lou Andreas-Salome

.....For I don't think back; all that I am
stirs me because of you.  I don't invent you
at sadly cooled-off places from which
you've gone away; even your not being there
is warm with you and more real and more
than a privation.  Longing leads out too often
into vagueness.  Why should I cast myself,
when, for all I know, your influence falls on me,
gently, like moonlight on a window seat.
                                   Duino, late autumn 1911
                                   --Rainier Maria Rilke

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Poetry Girl Sunday #3


Heavy surf from the nor'easter makes its way up the beach access steps late in the afternoon in Sandbridge, Nov. 12, 2009. (L. Todd Spencer|The Virginian-Pilot)

O it has been a week--yesterday's paper screamed "NOR'BEASTER", today it bleats "It's Intense".  As I write this morning, it is sunny ...the not-proverbial "calm after the storm".  My little southeastern corner of Virginia has been battered by a sneak-attack Nor'easter now dubbed by our dazed commentators as The November Nor'easter.  "...Of ALL Time!" it seems like they want to add but they don't in case it comes off as too dramatic.  Even though it was dramatic.

I drove north to Washington D.C. in the midst of it.  A three to four hour drive. 

This part of Virginia is home to the cities/towns of Chesapeake/Virginia Beach/Norfolk/Portsmouth/Suffolk--all crowded together into an area we commonly refer to as "Tidewater" or "Hampton Roads".  Some of us know the origins of these two toponyms, most of us don't.  In fact ever since I've lived here for the past twenty-five years, a slow-burning controversy that flares up now & then simmers about what to call this place.

The point is that this part of Virginia was getting clobbered by the storm and, as life goes, something else was going on too--my aunt was being laid to rest in Washington D.C.  Despite the storm, I had to get myself and Thing 2 up there.  So we went.  We drove on through slanting rain and wind gusts up to 60 mph.  There was debris flying through the air, littering the road, battering my poor, but stalwart Honda Odyssey.  Mostly by pure luck, partly by good reflexes I narrowly missed a large tree that suddenly appeared out of the chaos, lying across the interstate.

Odyssey n., pl. -seys 1. A long adventurous voyage or trip. 2. An intellectual or spiritual quest. [After the ODYSSEY.]

How appropriate.

I had relatives flying and driving to DC for Meme's service and my mom & dad drove the same path I did from Williamsburg, Virginia (an hour NW of Tidewater).  But it was that hour that made all the difference.  The whole eastern seaboard had rain and wind but it was Tidewater that got the Nor'easter's particular wrath and I had to get out of Tidewater.  Hence they all looked at me rather flabbergasted when I arrived, appearing wide-eyed and announcing that my "odyssey" had been "brutal".  (I didn't really use the word "odyssey" but I did use the word "brutal")  Even Thing 2 looked at me askance because despite the buffeting rage of that first hour, he had slept through most of it.

I realized I had to put my white-knuckled, heart-hammering trip behind me and get down to the business of grieving for my dear aunt, and comforting, and being comforted by, dear relatives and friends.  It may in fact happen in the brain but this shift of emotions feels like it happens in the heart.  It is the heart that is confused and it is the brain telling the heart to get on with it.  It is now.  And now I find myself in the quiet bowels of an appropriately somber administrative building at Arlington National Cemetery refereeing this internal wrestling match as we gather and prepare to say good-bye to a life that has been a part of our lives.

It occurs to me that whether we care to admit it or not, life is dramatic and can be likened certainly to a long, adventurous voyage or trip that is certainly an intellectual, spiritual quest.

And my heart is saying, "Back off brain!  Leave me alone and let me feel for a little while".  Just let me feel it all ....

The Lives Of The Heart

Are ligneous, muscular, chemical.
Wear birch-colored feathers,
green tunnels of horse-tail reed.
Wear calcified spirals, Fibonaccian spheres.
Are edible; are glassy; are clay; blue schist.
Can be burned as tallow, as coal,
can be skinned for garnets, for shoes.
Cast shadows or light;
shuffle; snort; cry out in passion.
Are salt, are bitter,
tear sweet grass with their teeth.
Step silently into blue needle-fall at dawn.
Thrash in the net until hit.
Rise up as cities, as serpentined magma, as maples,
hiss lava-red into the sea.
Leave the strange kiss of their bodies
in Burgess Shale.  Can be found, can be lost,
can be carried, broken, sung.
Lie dormant until they are opened by ice,
by drought.  Go blind in the service of lace.
Are starving, are sated, indifferent, curious, mad.
Are stamped out in plastic, in tin.
Are stubborn, are careful, are slipshod,
are strung on the blue backs of flies
on the black backs of cows.
Wander the vacant whale-roads, the white thickets
heavy with slaughter.
Wander the fragrant carpets of alpine flowers.
Not one is not held in the arms of the rest, to blossom.
Not one is not given to ecstasy's lions.
Not one does not grieve.
Each of them opens and closes, closes and opens
the heavy gate--violent, serene, consenting, suffering it all.
                                                                 --Jane Hirshfield

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Poetry Girl Sunday #2

"On our earth, before writing was invented, before
the printing press was invented, poetry flourished.  That
is why we know that poetry is like bread; it should be
shared by all, by scholars and by peasants, by all our vast,
incredible, extraordinary family of humanity."
                                                       --Pablo Neruda

My beloved Pablo Neruda.  You will see more of his poems in Poetry Girl in the months ahead.  Born in 1904 in southern Chile he is often considered the 20th Century's best poet if you can say such a thing.  It goes against my grain to call any, single poet "the best" ...there are so many.  I'll have you consider that we are all poets and that poetry can "speak" to and from all of us.  I know it is a part of our DNA.  And it is Neruda who is "the best" at reminding us of this ...

This poem titled "Poetry" is from Memorial de Isla Negra/Isla Negra (1962 -64), from the chapter "Where The Rain Is Born".  As with much of Neruda's work, it simply speaks for itself. 

Click here to listen:

Click here to see:
http://www.poemhunter.com/best-poems/pablo-neruda/poetry-2/

" ...felt myself a pure part
of the abyss.
I wheeled with the stars.
My heart broke loose on the wind." 
                              --Pablo Neruda

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Poetry Girl Sunday

One of my best friends--an amazing, amazing published poet who's taught college-level writing for twenty years--upon hearing about my newborn blog asked the most obvious glaring question, a question I hadn't dared ask myself yet ....."Are you going to put some of your poems in your blog?"

My answer was, (blank moment), then Uhh .....

I haven't mentioned it specifically, well there is a vague reference in my profile to being an aspiring writer, that whether you think I'm a good one or a bad one, whether you love, are neutral to, or can't stand poets, I am a poet. An aspiring one.

So "Poet Boy's" comment ......(I wanted to refer to him as Poet Man cause he is "da Man!" but he humbly requested Poet Boy, so Poet Boy it is) ......made me realize that an obvious point of my blogging would be to include poetry, even mine. Especially mine.

While perusing the internet last week, I stumbled upon this video on Poetryfoundation.com.  Check it out if you have 1:50 min's: Sarah and Heather

I guess it's just a little video-slice-of-most-people-aren't-into-poetry .....?  I'm not completely sure.  But ever since I happened to watch it last week, it keeps popping into my head at regular intervels.  One of those popping-into-head moments happened when Poet Boy asked me about poetry on my blog.

So I am very familiar with the immediate-glazed-over-eyes look whenever I mention poetry or whenever I mention writing it.  In all fairness, I treat people to that same immediate-glazed look whenever they mention an intricate football play (or just any football play), or anything that has the word "budget" in it.

But I've decided poetry is an important part of "finding my bliss" which is an important part of this blog.  So, ta-da!  I introduce you to Poetry Girl Sundays, in which I am Poetry Girl for the day, and I publish some kind of a poetry-themed post every (or most every) Sunday.  Fun!

Today, since I've taken up so much of your time already, I'm keeping it short and sweet.  If you read my post from Friday night called My Mom Suit, you would surely have detected sadness, wistfulness, & melancholy.  It was a post full of those things.  I wanted to wrap it up with a "But don't worry!  It will be fine!!"-type finale but this blog is not about shying away from feelings.  It's about staring them down--good & bad, happy & sad.  (See what I mean about being a poet?)

Anyway, I'm trying to adjust to changes in my life and Friday night I wasn't adjusting too well.  A big thank-you goes out to Cecilia (real name--hope you don't mind Cecilia!) for sending my a "strong heart" on Facebook yesterday because she read my post and 1) knew I felt bad and 2) said she could relate which helped more than she can imagine.

Yesterday, I bought a box of Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Tea.  Another friend Don (real name too!) was recently raving ridiculously about it's amazing qualities so I thought I'd better get me some.  Right there on the box it says:

"Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each." -Henry David Thoreau

Now how about that?  Just the perfect seed to plant in my heart this weekend.  Don't you just love poetry?