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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Poetry Girl On The Last Day Of January


          Again I reply to the triple winds
          running chromatic fifths of derision
          outside my window:
                                          Play louder.
          You will not succeed.  I am
          bound more to my sentences
          the more you batter at me
          to follow you.
                               And the wind,
          as before, fingers perfectly
          its derisive music.
                               --William Carlos Williams

Winter Scene

          There is not a single
          leaf on the cherry tree:

          except when the jay
          plummets in, lights, and,

          in pure clarity, squalls:
          then every branch

          quivers and
          breaks out in blue leaves.
                               --A. R. Ammons

Snow Post Script

Ok well we only got 8" of snow .......but still ........that's 8" more than we usually get!  It's so beautiful.  I have no idea what you people who get snow all the time are complaining about. 


Cool, I can hear "crunching" on the street below as a car is going by all know the view off my left shoulder as I sit here typing early on a Sunday morning (see last pic in Snow!!!! post)

More Winter posts to come ....

Saturday, January 30, 2010


If you can't tell already, here in the southeast corner--on the coast--of Virginia, we don't get snow very often!  Nobody does on any coast.  I can attest to that growing up as a navy-brat (one more thing I've never talked about on this blog ...but I shall).  So for those of you who have had snow this winter as one "would take a sip of water from a fire hose" (weird analogy but you get it), skip this post!  Cuz we're excited!!  Today. 

Tomorrow when I run out of orange juice may be another story ...

The forecast is calling for anywhere between 6" to 12" (OMG one foot!).  So I'm going to post snow progression pictures at three-ish hour intervals.  Ok so I know I'm not the best photographer (one of my bloggy goals this year--learn to be best photographer) but the idea is to watch the accumulation!

This first set was taken an hour ago in my PJ's with slippers-with-hole on (see pic) so they're a little boring cuz I'm standing inside taking pictures of the outside.  Plus I wanted to get the pristine look (aka the un-messed-up-before-teenage-son-got-out-there-and-mangled-it-all-up look) (that has now happened btw so future pic's will have mangled look) (I'm gonna get snow boots on myself though and take pictures of un-mangled snow as I walk around!) (on second thought, just heard cold gust of sleety snow hit the window I'm sitting next to--perhaps will have some hot chocolate instead?)

from the front door

3 hours later

next morning

you guessed it! the back

3 hours later

next morning

OMG!  Thing One are you reading this????  We should go out and play SpecTrek IN THE SNOW!!

Ok readers, a review:  Thing Two is a sophomore in high school and is (obviously) home with me (although currently outside flinging snow balls at friends).  Thing One is a freshman at Virginia Tech which is in Blacksburg, Virginia--a very long six-hour drive due west almost into West Virginia & Kentucky nestled in between the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Allegheny Mountains.  Blacksburg is currently at 13 degrees with about a foot of snow already.  We're at 25 degrees. 

SpecTrek is this ghost-catching App Thing One & I downloaded onto our DROIDS--it uses GPS to pinpoint your location and it makes up ghosts and places them outside, wherever you may be, within a three-mile radius.  This App is a combination of pure recreation and getting-some-exercise because you have to, kinda, literally, run after these ghosts (they move).  The point is to get close enough to take a picture of the ghosts which equals "catching" them.  Once you catch all the ghosts you win!  Fun!  So in the snow?  FUNNER!!!  

(Although you look like a nut running around with your phone taking pictures of nothing Thing One may not be willing to do that in front of his college-buds .....except he's studying engineering and lives in a dorm where all the residents are studying engineering .....and no offense Thing One but you guys are all pretty d-o-r-k-y ....probably every single one of you has been running around after fake-ghosts all morning while the other college students are still sleeping off hangovers .......good for you Thing One!) (Don't correct me if I'm wrong about this)

Check back for snow-picture updates.  Hey Thing One, send me some snow pic's from Blacksburg and I'll post them! 

Yikes.  What's coming from the other side of the window sounds mean.  Hot chocolate here I come!

Friday, January 29, 2010

No Flowers For You J.D. Salinger

"Who wants flowers when you're dead?  Nobody."

But we will mourn you and be grateful that you wrote your words and be glad they are etched on our lives~

This is how I feel exactly--this second, this afternoon--when we are expecting up to a foot of snow tonight:
It was that kind of a crazy afternoon, terrifically cold, and no sun out or anything, and you felt like you were disappearing every time you crossed a road. --Holden Caulfield, Catcher in the Rye

Thursday, January 28, 2010

A Conversation Between You & Me

What will I be doing one week from today you ask?  (you were going to ask me that right?)
I will be winging to Nashville!  Tennessee!!  For this:

Blissdom Conference ~ Nashville ~ February 4-6 2010

What's this you ask?
It's a bloggers conference.  Now I'm a little mad they stole my "bliss" idea .......

How long have I been blogging you ask? 
Three months.

They had Blissdom '09 last year you say? And Blissdom '08 the year before?
Oh.  Well then they should consider giving me a discount since they & I are obviously of like mind!


Ok, so I totally can't wait!  But I'm also somewhat intimidated.  I'm going by myself!  And I've only been doing this for a few months!!  OMG what was I thinking!!! 

Oh and btw I don't have a laptop *bombshell* I know.  I told everyone at work yesterday ...
(I have never once brought up my part-time job at a small accounting firm in Virginia Beach .....I've been saving it for a future post(s) ......I love it and work with some v-e-r-y fascinating people (hi y'all!) ......and wrapping up--get your tax stuff to your accountant NOW!!!! can thank me for this very excellent advice on April 15th) yesterday I told everyone at work about the Blissdom conference.  They all looked at me rather mystified as I prattled on about the accommodations and the fact that Harry Connick, Jr. will be singing for us Saturday night and that I'm determined not to buy one single article of new clothing for this grand adventure (my M.O. is to run out and buy expensive things right before an exciting trip) and that I don't have a laptop which is a bit like arriving at a polo tournament without your horse!  As I said--mystified.

Two days ago, I called Ex who recently bought himself a very pretty, apple-red Dell laptop ask if I could borrow his old laptop for the conference.  When I asked him he said "no" at which point I was congratulating myself for divorcing this "doesn't share well with others" person when he said ......are you ready for this? ........"I'm planning on getting you one of your own".  Really??!!  choke  He's pleased because for once, I'm speechless. 

Disclaimer: remember reconciliation is completely and totally not ever going to be a concept--I said before that I would occasionally say nice things about Ex--we're just a great divorced couple who mostly are pretty darn nice to each other.  He apparently plans to be nice about a new laptop!  We shall see.  Oh in case you're wondering too since it's now in writing on my blog if I'm using this as coercion, don't worry about that either--Ex doesn't read my blog.  Umm let's see, he's probably asked me the name of my blog fifteen times so far because he keeps forgetting  [really?]  Reconciliation?  Uh no, never.  Even if there is a laptop in my near future.

While we're on the subject, here's an update on Steve (who also never reads my blog and has no idea what it's called even though a number of his friends (hi Randy!) read it and, even, remember the name of it ......mental note: find nice man who shows a passing interest in my interests) Ok Steve update: we are not together anymore but we've talked a couple of times.  So that's good.  I don't want him out of my life for good.  I need him around for comic relief!  But as Randy recently said "Lord help the woman that loves him!!" and, I think, he was talking to me .....

Enough for today.  Tomorrow ...what's a Poken?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Despite The Cold

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Poetry Girl Sunday--Dear God

Today for Poetry Girl Sunday, I am featuring one of my favorite bloggers jenx67.  You can find her in my Golden Blogroll--down, down--in the right sidebar.  Her blog is dedicated to celebrating & commenting on all things Generation X; the generation loosely defined as those people born between 1961-1981 (the generation on the heels of the Baby Boomers).  One of the things that distinctifies Generation X is that we are aging.  Much to our surprise.
(btw, I was born in May 1961 so I am barely a Generation X-er--well me and George Clooney who was born 18 days before me--charming company although he appears to like years-younger women not days-younger women .....sigh)
Aging.  Not a new human experience.  If life is a mountain, it is as if I have reached a clearing near the top.  I've stopped here for awhile and am resting.  I look all around me--I can see the path I have taken to get here.  I can see others behind me, on their way up.  I can see those ahead of me on the path making their way down the mountain. I can see the path in front of me leading into the future.  It is, at once, magnificent and daunting. It is empowering and heartbreaking. Frightening and exciting.  Mysterious and certain. Validating and invalidating.

Dear God, why must life be so impervious, relentless, and unforgiving?

Two concepts of aging have quietly introduced themselves to me in my mountaintop clearing that go beyond the expected aging concepts in which you become less attractive and more frail : 1) other people in my life are aging too!  Oh no!! and 2) I feel the same as I always have ...only perhaps ...(only slightly) wiser.

jenx's poem "leaving you just when i needed to most" will possibly leave you perplexed.  But please read it not worrying about what jenx meant ....think about what it might mean to you.  The best poets want to leave you with an insight into your own life, not theirs.  After I read "leaving you just when i needed to most" this past week, without consciously bidding it, her strong images of loss and grief kept coming back to me. 

Who wants that you might ask? 

But from my mountain-top perspective, I know you can't live long enough to reach the clearing without experiencing loss.  And I realize I need to reconcile my own feelings of loss before I can move on.  I can't head into the future without a sense of peace about ALL aspects of life including the impervious, relentless, unforgiving, and yes, grief-filled aspects.

Ironically (or not--connections are everywhere if you look for them), the same day I read jenx's poem, I opened my new Mark Knopfler (of Dire Straits) CD, Get Lucky.  The second track is called "Hard Shoulder".

Read jenx's poem and let the images speak to you.  Listen to Mark Knopfler's "Hard Shoulder" too.  For me, perhaps inexplicably, they call out to one another and they are both calling out to me.  Think about the feelings they invoke.  Feel at one with each because you've experienced loss and disappointment and failure too.  Feel unburdened by kindred spirits.  Feel a connection to another human being.  Feel, no matter where you are on the mountain, a sort of transcendence beyond your moment by moment, minute by minute life--dare to feel it all; dare to feel the very most alive.


leaving you just when i needed to most

Let me just tell the world:
I left you today
And I’m certain when I did,
I chipped a tile
From the Mosaic
The fractured Bride of God.

It seems I had no choice
For 25 some-odd years I’ve watched
The same man
Silver hair and a gold horn
He played it like me
But, safer
And, you know,

I didn’t.

I fancied myself bombastic
Like James the Less
And, now here I am
No more casseroles to supplant our superficial conversations
You left
Just when you needed me most.

And, so this is what I choose for myself
This fractured daughter of God.

I stuff the change in my cold Armani pocket
And, I hold the door behind me
For you, a stranger
Four gallons of water looped around your fingers
They sway you in the Oklahoma wind
You smile with heartbroken
Ghastly yellow teeth
And, say with Broadway exuberance
My radiator is overheating and
I have to have all this water just to get home!

You twirl oddly in the wind
Talking to the sky
And, I leave you.
Just like everyone else
And I carry myself, all privilege gone
To a business appointment
Which I want to abandon
To sit with you in the Oklahoma wind
Cradle you on this prairie
And tell you

Why do we answer questions
No one is asking?
Did you think your sorrow would escape me?
It did not

Tonight, you’ll cook your crank in a bath tub
But, only after we find a new radiator
Together at a junkyard
Just like my dad had to do a dozen times.
And, I’ll hold you in a rusted automobile
And beat my chest and say
We are having church!

My God, we are having church
All you effing sonsofbitches.

But, I am dreaming.
I have missed another opportunity
And, I was missed a dozen times
1,500 lonely days
We beat crickets off us while we watched Kimmy eat a bug.
Survivors. It was so long ago.

The radiator hisses
like the last summer of childhood
Lizard juice and burned rubber
The wishes boiled and smoked
And, I was too proud.
I wanted everyone to read my mind.

But, I would not change it
I am halfway to the skeleton frame
Where I belong.

I am leaving you.
I know.
You were innocent like me.
Keeping appointments
God never intended you to make to begin with.

Mark Knopfler, Hard Shoulder

Hard Shoulder

I've got latches for windows, handles for doors
Grinders and scrapers and sanders for floors
Rake for the gravel, chains for the snow
Always got the shovel - you never know
I never thought you'd go

Man's broken down
Man's broken down on the slip road
Got a slipped load
And it's a hard shoulder to cry on

Hacksaws and hammers, brushes and mop
Then I've got the ladders up on the top
If something needs doing, I always say
You want it done the proper way
I need you to stay

Man's broken down
Man's broken down on the slip road
Got a slipped load
And it's a hard shoulder to cry on

Give me a minute we'll be going again
Sound as a pound, right as rain
- right as rain
And it's a hard shoulder to cry on
- to cry on
                                                  --Mark Knopfler

PS--be sure to check-out jenx67--are you there God? it's me generation X

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Cartoon Saturday #5

The Good ...

The Bad ...

The Shameful ...

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Much Needed Diversion

In the throes of trying not to wallow in sadness over the heartbreaking horrors of the world (recently brought into such sharp focus courtesy of poor Haiti) I'm throwing myself into serious smarmy-ness

..........not The Golden Globes themselves (I didn't even watch them!) ..........

but the "oh so juicy better than the actual thing" (smarmy!) special fashion wrap-up (the day after) shows!!!!!!!  Or, who "hit" and who "missed" on the 67th Annual Golden Globes Red Carpet!

And this post is most merrily dedicated to the misses!

Is that you Mary Poppins? (who I love--but not for your fashion sense)
Or you Tina Fey? (ditto)

Don't worry if you didn't catch the shallow, acerbic, totally delicious! airings last night on Entertainment Tonight (NBC) or The Fashion Police (The E! Entertainment Channel)--I have conveniently included links below for the highlights!  Plus they will be continuing this very specific coverage in multi-orgasmic fashion all week long with the likes of Joan Rivers and Cojo dictating every blunder!  Phew!  Just in time for a diversion in the cushy lives we lead in which our biggest decision is "which hole is better" for breakfast at Hardees: Hardees A hole or B hole?

So let's face it--it's the fashion blunders we're on the edge of our couches for, isn't it?????
In truth I was actually snuggled as deeply into the old leather couch as possible under the penguined-fleece blanket Thing One and Thing Two gave me for Christmas 7 years ago that completely clashes with the "decor" (no other penguins in sight) of my living room, wearing the fashion forward combo of old-pilled-yoga-leggings and my Janis Joplin t-shirt that is only cool now because "vintage" is momentarily, happily cool.
The blunders make us feel better about our own fashion choices--we would NEVER have allowed our stylists to talk us into those blunder get-ups:

First, we would have hired better stylists!!!!!

Second, we would have the fashion sense to elegantly nod our regal heads at the gown that pink-jacketed-weird-hair'd Cojo will deem fashion nirvana, not at the "sack" that we know stone-faced-super-plastic'd Joan Rivers will croak out is destined for fashion hell.

I mean really!  Excuse me?  Why aren't we on the red carpet??

Cojo's Best and Worst Dressed for Golden Globes 2010
E! Online Fashion Police Golden Globe 2010 Overview
Where you will want to check-out:
1) "Fierce Fashions at Golden Globes"
2) "2010 Globes: Fashion Police, Pt. 1"
3) "2010 Globes: Fashion Police, Pt. 2"

And rounding out this special diversion post, a few pictures of the best of the worst!  No--I don't have a thing against Mary Poppins (see above), giant breasts, or Russian mail-order brides--I just hate bad fashion sense! (Hello?)

Mariah Carey--what dress?  Nick who?

Christina Hendricks--I don't know who you are
but now you are memorable to me 
in a very Jessica Rabbit-caricature-X-LARGE way
(see Mariah Carey)

Mickey Rourke--I do see your Russian mail-order bride
but it's not working to distract me from your usual mess
(in fact the contrast makes it worse)

I know there are more delightfully great pic's of blatant bad fashion from Sunday's Golden Globes out there but Thing Two is hungry and I have to make dinner!!  Send me some great-bad pictures of the stars and we can be mean and smug and diverted together .........(hee hee)

PS--Look for future diversion-related-posts-for-tough-times when I feature E!'s The Real Housewives Series'!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

"Haiti" to 90999

Dear Readers,

If you haven't heard yet, the American Red Cross has mobilized a very easy, effective way to raise money to go toward the relief effort so desperately needed in Haiti.  I'm sure you know how immediate and dire the circumstances are--just tune in to CNN for five minutes if you don't.  Understandably, more than anything they need money. 
The public can also help by texting “Haiti” to 90999 to send a $10 donation to the Red Cross, through an effort backed by the U.S. State Department. Funds will go to support American Red Cross relief efforts in Haiti.
OK simply text "Haiti" to 90999 .......and your cell phone will be charged $10.00 (something most of us can easily afford even during a recession).

Shortly after you send the text, you will receive a text confirming that you indeed want to donate $10.00, in which you text back, "Yes".  It's legit and it's effective.  Click here for more information and to reassure yourself that this is a valid relief initiative: American Red Cross Haiti Relief Effort

This is SO EASY and it has the potential TO RAISE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS to help other HUMAN BEINGS.  Please consider helping ...


For me life is a tapestry in which its warp and weft--you know the process by which two distinct yarns or threads are woven up & over, and down & under to create a weave--has evolved a storied, ancient, priceless tapestry that has misty edges that make the beginning and the end of it mysterious and unknown.

The tapestry is huge and colorful and eclectic.  It is soft here and rough there.  It is rich with new dense wool and it is thin, fragile, nearly worn-through cotton.  It is rich and poor.  It is fragrant and fetid.  It is kind and it is cruel.  It is fair and unfair.  It is warm, it is cold.  And we seem to think it goes on endlessly.

But my favorite part of thinking of life this way is the idea that throughout its weave, each and every thread is connected to all the other threads in the way that, say, one sleeve, thread by thread is connected to the rest of a garment--which is connected to the collar which is (ta-da!) connected to the other sleeve.

Now if you were to ask me who I would trust more, a human or an animal, I would answer (unless it was a hungry tiger in a small cage with me--give me a break--I'm trying to make a point here!) ....the animal.    Animals have remained true to their original natures.  At least you can be fairly sure of what you're dealing with when it comes to just about any animal species. 

But we humans ......we're a different story.  We have evolved astoundingly!  Yet we remain firmly planted to terra firma by virtue of the exact same DNA that our nomadic, pre-tribal, ape-like, first modern human ancestors bequeathed us.  Modern Homo Sapien Sapiens (yes, just learned this in quick little research--Neanderthals are included in Homo Sapien genus--modern man is technically in the Homo Sapien Sapien (two "Sapiens"!) genus--who knew?), so human kind has been evolving for more than 500,000 years; modern man, of who's DNA I am referring to, for a mere 195,000 years.

In this relatively short time frame, we have learned to create life, one astounding masterpiece--be it artistic, or technological, or simply humanitarian--at a time and we have learned how to wipe all life from earth if we are so inclined.  Homo Sapien Sapien has conquered all habitable parts of the planet and is the undisputed ruler of the food chain yet our fears and instincts are rooted to a time, pre-civilization, when we were hunter gatherers.

In other words, we've evolved into a global community, a global civilization, whether our DNA likes it or not.

Quick overview:

1) Life is a tapestry in which we are all connected.

2) Our species evolved magnificently but, in equal measure, we are ancient, cruel-minded, predictably provincial, and woefully out-of-date in comparison to our accomplishments.

So with this highly opinionated  .....opinion the backdrop, tonight I found it ironic that as the horror in Haiti unfurls on our TV sets, I happened to catch the second episode of a series on PBS called "The Human Spark".  Click here for a quick description of the series: The Human Spark, series introduction (1:00)

And, now, click here for a quick description of tonight's episode: The Human Spark, Episode Two "So Human, So Chimp", introduction (00:30)

If you can't tell already, it fascinated me.  My favorite part was Chapter Four called "Chimps vs. Children".  It turns out, in experiments on very, very young human children there is a distinct difference in how we learn and how we manifest what we've learned and how highly motivated we are to help other people (even people we don't know) vs. these qualities in our closest ancestor, chimps.  Now, chimps learn just as quickly and effectively as children.  And chimps "help" when asked to too.  But the uber-fascinating difference is how eager human children are to help, and to help, even in ways they weren't asked to.
Btw, snide cynical me has to add that these experiments in order to accurately measure the true human impulse, has to be performed on young humans before we become suspicious, manipulative (not very much) older humans.  And these very young humans portray an adorable, purely human, altruistic nature that, for once, makes me proud to be a Homo Sapien Sapien.
If you're inclined you can watch the entire 54:42 episode called "So Human, So Chimp".  Or if you can spare 11:55 for just Chapter Four I promise you won't be sorry.  Just click here and look for Chapter Four, "Chimps vs. Children", or zoom to 29:11 left in the episode: The Human Spark, Episode Two "So Human, So Chimp", full episode (54:42)

If you only have a couple of minutes to spare, indulge me and watch this quick 2:25 clip: The Human Spark, Episode Two "So Human, So Chimp", video excerpt "Chimps vs. Children" (2:26)


So I go to bed tonight with all this whirling about in my puny hunter-gatherer brain.  Do I want to be in Haiti helping out right now?  NO.  Do I know any Haitians?  No.  Can I relate to them?  Not really.  Do I even know where Haiti is? (beyond embarrassed to admit this) No. But somewhere deep in my cells, I guess that place where my ingenious, but faulty, DNA lies I feel unsettled.  I feel an ancient throb, a dull ache.  And I can only attribute it to one thing: that somewhere else on this tapestry, a hole has been viciously rent, this time not by human hands, just by circumstances even beyond our control. 

Let's try to re-remember that human spark that is magnificent and that we never really outgrow, we just often forget about--that thing that makes us human, that makes us want to help as much as we possibly can even if you're a stranger, even if you live on the other side of the planet.  Even if you're only a thread on the opposite sleeve.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Ad Nauseum

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Sad? Lonely?? Go Pick Up A DROID

Yesterday I took Thing One to Verizon because his cell phone’s space-key doesn’t work anymore and the connection between his charger & phone has completely fizzled.  He’s going back to school soon and his phone has become essentially worthless.

Remember Thing One goes to Virginia Tech? He’s enrolled in the School of Engineering, majoring in Computer Science, and has a 4.0 so far. Naturally I’m quite proud, even more relieved, and completely bamboozled as to where he gets his good sense from ……..

In any case, into the cell phone store yesterday, he & I traipse. I know that in some sly fashion, or else in a blatantly un-sly fashion (they don’t care!), I always get “had” at Verizon every time I cross its threshold. So I’m not nearly as enthused as Thing One is on this errand.

It’s been a rough week for me as many of you who have kindly sent your kind regards my way (I am so very appreciative, please know) are aware. I’m rather “just going through the motions” which is completely normal after a >four-year relationship comes to an end so let’s not indulge me too much. As a matter of fact, in the “things could be much worse” department, the morning after my sad-sack-last-post, I was off to work when I saw that a home in my neighborhood had gone up in flames!!!!!!!!! There’s crime scene tape everywhere and blackened, broken windows that have been wide open this whole 20 degree weather weekend, replete with singed draperies flapping in and out of the frigid breeze. Awful. From what I gather, no one was hurt and the stove had been left on. But seriously, in that light, I was humbled.
Still …..I’m sad.
But at Verizon I am cheerfully informed that my contract is up for renewal which means that I can buy a new phone at an insanely inflated price, but wait!! It’s a good deal because without the new contract the new phone costs $10 million dollars! So it’s a STEAL!!!!!!???

Now I’ve been happy with my nifty phone—it’s only two years old. It’s working fine and only shows signs of wear where the salt water literally “burned off” the pretty chrome parts when me & my book club girlfriends (Hi you guys!) were caught out in a hurricane-style, sudden thunderstorm one, initially, lovely summer evening at the beach this past August. Suffice to say it became a rather dripping wet keystone cops affair and we were quite lucky that we weren’t struck by lightening, and that in the end, it was only my pretty phone that gave away the rather insane aspects of the ordeal. (read: my phone spent the evening swimming around in the tidal pool created in my beach bag along with my sunscreen and sunglasses that naturally had been rendered completely useless by the current state of affairs—i.e. a hurricane). And naturally, as these brushes with danger go, we laughed ourselves silly when it was all over and broke open countless bottles of wine to celebrate our aliveness.

The salesman at Verizon began taking Thing One & I around the store on a tour of every inflated-priced phone they are currently offering (read: all of them). Now I have been mildly flirting with the idea of my next phone being a Smartphone; particularly since I started blogging in October and even more particularly since everyone else seems to be having so much fun Tweeting and me & my pretty phone just look at each other and say “Tweet” …what?

So I say to the salesman, what about this phone?

Long story short-ish, not only did I end up with the world’s currently most spectacular cell phone—YEP!!!! The Motorola DROID! But so did Thing One! (he used his own money) And he & I have been out of our minds obsessed with our new phones now for the past 32 hours!

Me & Thing One

I was playing with it in bed at 4:30 this morning and I got only approximately four hours of sleep last night.

I’ve had to fully charge it three times already—its only drawback-so far.

Thing One and I keep running through the house to tell each other about something new & amazing we just discovered our new phones do, or some ridiculous cool App we found. We’re texting & tweeting & emailing each other constantly. Did you know that all the smiley emoticons (there are like fifty different one’s right on the keyboard!) are smiley’s, but they’re little smiley DROIDS??????? Cute! (turns out you only see them as droids if you have a DROID, but who cares?!)

And the Apps!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!! There’s an App to make your phone a vibrator!!! (no! I did not download that …) There’s an App, in case you don’t have a coin handy, for flipping a coin—it puts a virtual coin on your screen and with a flick of your wrist, it’s heads or tails!! There is a Fartdroid App that makes numerous different fart noises with names like “poot”, “ker-plop!”, “sqeeky”, and (ick) “rim shot”. I know this because I did download Fartdroid. The icon is the cutest little droid farting and I couldn’t resist it.

Oh there are really practical Apps too. How about the Google Places App, Thing One found? Which for any attraction, bank, bar, coffee shop, gas station, hotel, hospital, movie theater, parking lot, restaurant, shopping mall, & taxi stand, will alert you to it’s nearby existence and literally point the way! As if you would, in Frankenstein-with-a-divining-rod fashion, stumble your way there! But seriously, how cool!

I may have to write just a few more posts on the subject because I haven’t even touched on how hilarious the chasm is between the speed at which Thing One had his DROID up & humming along, already running fifty Apps, while I’m still quizzically turning my DROID over & over trying to find the “on” switch.

Needless to say, Thing One has been more helpful to me than I have been to him. (I did tell him about the Fartdroid App though)

And can you imagine poor Thing Two—who managed to lose his phone a year ago and then, quite fortunately under the circumstances, received a new one because it was such a pain in his mother’s a** that he didn’t have a phone anymore. Now his “new” phone is a year old and he is not eligible for a “new-new” phone. The shenanigans between Thing One & I this past day are about to make him, I’m guessing, puke. He now has to cope with merely owning a plain phone that was once the envy of Thing One’s eye (who couldn’t believe his brother lost a phone and then promptly gets it replaced with a new, cooler phone)(but I explained that already), but sadly one year later pales in comparison to our DROIDS. He's coping by playing non-stop Grand Theft Auto IV which I allowed him to use his own money to buy yesterday while I was in my “looky my new phone!” haze. I can hear it downstairs right now honking and crashing into guardrails and spewing out lots of bad words that I would normally not tolerate except I’m so in love with my new phone that I’m walking into walls instead of making sure my child is playing a more suitable game.


Nothing soothes a broken heart better than a new cell phone.

Thing One and I have bonded over said phones and he’s a genius in the “technology" department to my “dunce-cap” level of knowledge in said department.

Thing Two has been spoiled in the past but is now paying the price by not having the coolest phone on the planet (anymore) and having to witness Thing One’s and my googly-eyed obsessions with our new phones. At least he has the consolation prize of being left alone with his violent, potty-mouthed X-Box game.

I’ll try not to write ad-nauseum too much more about DROID ….but it’s hard because there is so much more to tell and I admit, I focused too much today on the silliness and not enough on the many seriously respectable qualities of my new boyfriend.

And finally, definitely on a serious note, let’s pray for the nice people in the burned-out house and remind ourselves not to accidentally leave the stove on.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Sunday, January 3, 2010


Favorite Blog-Award!!

Thanks Kimberly, one of my favo bloggers, for giving me an award!  I'm thrilled to pieces!!  I am supposed to list Ten Favorite Things and Ten Favorite Bloggers.  Fun!!!  What a great way to start 2010--mulling over favorite things.  Ok, here goes, neither list in any particular order:

Ten Favorite Things

1 .....Thing One and Thing Two of course!

Christmas Picture 2009--love those two nuts in santa hats!

Christmas Picture 2005--interesting study in contrast!

2 ......Steve, genius, bass-player boyfriend!

Nice hands ......just sayin'

3 .....on my first visit to San Francisco (where Steve lives), we were running errands in the city when he told me to close my eyes.  I could feel him pull the car to the curb and park--then he told me to open my eyes!  Now, at this point, I had seen all the major SF landmarks.  As I'm sure you know San Francisco is an absurdly beautiful, vividly alive city.  And I know this sounds stupid-dramatic but I immediately loved San Francisco with all my heart.  As most of you know too, I am a mostly unpublished poet, so far, but I am a poet nonetheless.  So when I opened my eyes, I was simultaneously stunned at his thoughtfulness and at my shocking lack of inquiring mind for this infamous SF landmark--since I had just six months prior submitted a paper about one of my top-poet idols who literally haunted this place and set the stage for the famous beat poets!  (Kenneth Rexroth--we shall talk about him later)  Why hadn't I thought of City Lights Books??  And truly, how dear it was that Steve had!!! 

Note the banners ......picture taken shortly after the "Mission Accomplished" debacle
hee, hee

Note Steve ....incessantly on phone booking gigs and ......
Vesuvio's (yellow) next door to City Lights where the Beats would drink themselves silly into wee hours of the morning and subsequently write brillz (thanks Josh, lurv this word) poetry

Inside City Lights ......Poetry Room upstairs!

And finally .....nirvana=extremely favorite thing

4 .....the sweet smell of the grass, the sea, and silage (very stinky, fermenting "forage plants" (read "grass") that cows love) on the Sherman's Farm, Whidbey Island, Washington.

Ebey's Prairie
Yes, you may fling my ashes here some very distant day

5 .....going to sleep to the sound of waves on the beach.

listen: YouTube--sleepy sounds of beach waves

6 .....the cutest ferret ever!

I know ....I can't believe I haven't mentioned Puck before!
This is darling Puck, our ferret, who will soon be the subject of my next Cast of Characters post.
Stay tuned!!

7 .....singing in the car.  Ok believe it or not, I have no pictures of myself singing in the car.  But I'm not joking about this ....i LOVE to sing and i LOVE to sing in the car the most!!!  Make this little van white and that is me warbling that tune out the window.  PS--interestingly this adorable quality drives musician-boyfriend crazy!!!!  He swears (he does!) that it's not because I'm a bad singer .....but apparently a friend of his growing up used to sing in the car when Steve's mom & dad were driving and it embarrassed Steve that his friend was singing in front of Steve's parents???  Or some nonsense like that?!

Let me fill you all in on a little secret--professional musicians can be jerks about music to non-professionals.  And weirdly lots of them do not like singers!  Who knew??!!  So I'm really into music and humbly feel that I'm rather hip about it (that just tells you right there that I'm not, but anyway) so it's a bummer when you love music, and your best "instrument" is your voice (I've been singing my head off since I was born), and your professional musician boyfriend can't stand singing!  Especially in the car!!  Which just tells me, the non-professional, that he's missing a music-link somewhere there.  La la la! 

8 .....snow skiing.  I heart snow skiing more than words can describe.  I will just say that I am SO HAPPY when I'm skiing!

From a chair-lift at Snowshoe, West Virginia
(See the moon?)

9 .....Emily Blunt.  My new super-favo actress!!!!  Loved her huge in the most make you laugh--make you cry next, wonderful little movie this year called Sunshine Cleaning  (it's out on DVD now).  And just today!! Saw her in Young Victoria  (if "Trailer" on website doesn't work, try "Video") ..........about Queen Victoria at the beginning of her reign in 1837 and she & Albert's unusually lovely marriage.  Sigh.  Two great movies!!!!  One great actress!! 

Emily Blunt in "Sunshine Cleaning"

Emily Blunt in "Young Victoria"

10 .....Starry night in a clear black sky very far away from civilization. 

There are more stars than you ever knew existed!!!!!!  It makes you feel small.  It makes you feel large.  It makes you feel profound.  It is one of my most favorite things but there's not a picture alive that can do it justice.  Just imagine being outside with no man-made light for miles, in the dark, looking up at the black sky punctuated by zillions of stars .....the sight of which takes your breath away.

Ten (Fifteen!) Favorite Blogs

Oh it's too hard to narrow them to ten .....but these fifteen, so far, are my regular happy reads!

365 Days Of Sun and Terra Del Sole (Thanks again Kimberly for the award!)