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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Much Needed Diversion

In the throes of trying not to wallow in sadness over the heartbreaking horrors of the world (recently brought into such sharp focus courtesy of poor Haiti) I'm throwing myself into serious smarmy-ness

..........not The Golden Globes themselves (I didn't even watch them!) ..........

but the "oh so juicy better than the actual thing" (smarmy!) special fashion wrap-up (the day after) shows!!!!!!!  Or, who "hit" and who "missed" on the 67th Annual Golden Globes Red Carpet!

And this post is most merrily dedicated to the misses!

Is that you Mary Poppins? (who I love--but not for your fashion sense)
Or you Tina Fey? (ditto)

Don't worry if you didn't catch the shallow, acerbic, totally delicious! airings last night on Entertainment Tonight (NBC) or The Fashion Police (The E! Entertainment Channel)--I have conveniently included links below for the highlights!  Plus they will be continuing this very specific coverage in multi-orgasmic fashion all week long with the likes of Joan Rivers and Cojo dictating every blunder!  Phew!  Just in time for a diversion in the cushy lives we lead in which our biggest decision is "which hole is better" for breakfast at Hardees: Hardees A hole or B hole?

So let's face it--it's the fashion blunders we're on the edge of our couches for, isn't it?????
In truth I was actually snuggled as deeply into the old leather couch as possible under the penguined-fleece blanket Thing One and Thing Two gave me for Christmas 7 years ago that completely clashes with the "decor" (no other penguins in sight) of my living room, wearing the fashion forward combo of old-pilled-yoga-leggings and my Janis Joplin t-shirt that is only cool now because "vintage" is momentarily, happily cool.
The blunders make us feel better about our own fashion choices--we would NEVER have allowed our stylists to talk us into those blunder get-ups:

First, we would have hired better stylists!!!!!

Second, we would have the fashion sense to elegantly nod our regal heads at the gown that pink-jacketed-weird-hair'd Cojo will deem fashion nirvana, not at the "sack" that we know stone-faced-super-plastic'd Joan Rivers will croak out is destined for fashion hell.

I mean really!  Excuse me?  Why aren't we on the red carpet??

Cojo's Best and Worst Dressed for Golden Globes 2010
E! Online Fashion Police Golden Globe 2010 Overview
Where you will want to check-out:
1) "Fierce Fashions at Golden Globes"
2) "2010 Globes: Fashion Police, Pt. 1"
3) "2010 Globes: Fashion Police, Pt. 2"

And rounding out this special diversion post, a few pictures of the best of the worst!  No--I don't have a thing against Mary Poppins (see above), giant breasts, or Russian mail-order brides--I just hate bad fashion sense! (Hello?)

Mariah Carey--what dress?  Nick who?

Christina Hendricks--I don't know who you are
but now you are memorable to me 
in a very Jessica Rabbit-caricature-X-LARGE way
(see Mariah Carey)

Mickey Rourke--I do see your Russian mail-order bride
but it's not working to distract me from your usual mess
(in fact the contrast makes it worse)

I know there are more delightfully great pic's of blatant bad fashion from Sunday's Golden Globes out there but Thing Two is hungry and I have to make dinner!!  Send me some great-bad pictures of the stars and we can be mean and smug and diverted together .........(hee hee)

PS--Look for future diversion-related-posts-for-tough-times when I feature E!'s The Real Housewives Series'!


Chrisy Bates said...

stopping by for a blog visit (SITSA)...great post!

delicate flower said...

You may not have a thing against boobs, but I do. I can't understand why women give themselves such outrageously large boobs.. they look unnatural-they are- they're too large and they blatantly done to seek attention. It saddens me that we as women continue to cater to the male need to see big ones!

Sorry, didn't meant to get all serious on you. It's my early morning feminist rant!

AND, it is a funny post... I love to watch the hits and misses kind of shows too.

"And so our stories go..." said...

I agree with the boob rant....geeessssh. We need to move forward and we can't do it with fake boobs. Love your captions of the Globe award pictures. You put everything in perspective.

Rach said...

I was so disapponted in what Tina Fey wore, she normally has good taste.


daega99 said...

I don't watch the awards shows but I do try to see the fashion round-ups. It's always a good laugh.


junebug said...

I think it would be more forgivable if they dressed themselves and maybe they don't have a mirror or something. However, they have a team of people usually and several of them had to have said "Yeah, you look great."
Those boobs will be so nasty when they are 90. Ugh!

christina said...

love the jessica rabbit true! i heard someone call tina fey a couch and thought it was hilarious. unfortunately, i missed all of the post-show stuff, which i usually love.

looking forward to adding you to my reader to see more of your fun commentaries on things!

the subfertile frugalista

T Lee said...

What bothers me most about Tina Fey's dress, is that it MIGHT have been kinda cute if it weren't in that weird couch-esque fabric.

And Mickey Rourke scares me. A lot.


Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

I'm with T Lee on Tina Fey's dress. I actually kind of like the style, it actually might have worked if it had been a solid color.

I tend to be more forgiving wherever Tina is concerned, however, because I'm such an enormous fan. When I saw the ET-esque shows ripping her dress-choice to shreds, all I could think of was how I bet this somehow turns up being addressed on 30 Rock!! You heard it here first!

Thanks for the distraction, Laurie!!!

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