Someone Get This Girl A Writing Job! Wednesday

Except it's Thursday--I know!  But I was BUSY yesterday (shall blog on extricating freshman-boy out of dorm-room tomorrow). 

"Someone Get This Girl A Writing Job!" is going to become a regular feature on You Must Take Your Chance (apparently the home of extremely long, cumbersome titles), and I like the alliteration of Writing and Wednesday so I'm aiming for Wednesday's.  If "life" sticks its nosy head into Wednesday however it may appear on another day such as today's inaugural edition.

          alliteration n.  The repetition of the same sounds, usu. consonants,
          esp. at the beginning of words, as in "on scrolls of silver snowy sentences"
          (Hart Crane).

So obviously "someone" is "me", and me has to get a writing job because that's what I love to do. That's what I'm good at. That's the kind of people I want to hang-out (work) with. And that's the way I want to spend my time while I'm getting money thrown at me as I do it!

It's my dream. 

It took me a long time to realize my dream.  I always envied my friends who knew what they wanted right out of the blocks at the Here's The Rest Of Your Life race immediately following high-school graduation.  I rather floated through college, unfocused and unmotivated.  It was sad-ish, but I just couldn't conjure my dream out of my life at that time (no matter how many beers I had!).  Don't feel sorry for me--I loved Washington State University and I left Pullman with a degree in Political Science.  My years at WSU were not a waste ....... 

......still it wasn't until my mid-thirties when my dream finally came a-knockin'.  When I opened the door it took me a little while to recognize it, but when I did, I welcomed it with open arms and have been "entertaining" it ever since.  Yay!  But now I'm almost forty-nine!!  Time to W-R-I-T-E!!!!!!  My future-self is waiting.

Almost as a gift, I've recently stumbled upon a supremely well-written, supremely inspirational, supremely "human" blog; yes about writing, but more about life.  I asked Julie Roads of "Writing Roads" for her permission to reference her today and to link to one of her recent posts.  It offers a profound perspective.  Thank-you Julie for graciously sharing and for introducing us to our future-selves: Do Unto Yourself, Would'ja? A Lesson In Decision Making

*****

I plan to document my progress in the job-hunt on "Someone Get This Girl A Writing Job!"  It could arguably be more interesting/motivating for me than for you.  If you choose to skip it each week, I won't blame you.  But if you've been "entertaining" a dream for far too long too ......why don't you join me??  We can cheer each other on.  We can push each other when we get tired.  And we can remind one another when the dream (as it will) becomes (momentarily) elusive.  If you want to take this journey with me, write and tell me your story, ok? 

MY GOALS FOR NEXT WEEK

1.  Begin gathering and writing "samples" for Writing Portfolio--aim for 20 samples by the end of the month.

2.   Tweak and refine resume to have it ready at a moment's notice--keep it to one-page and accompany it with well-written, relevant, memorable cover letters.

3.  Contact all writing "persons" I know and tell them I'm pursuing a writing position--"Have any ideas?"

*****

I find inspiration every day at Writing Roads ....thank-you again Julie!  You're the best!!

Post-It Note Tuesday #9

PS--how many moments fit into an hour and a half??

Poetry Girl Sunday #9

This post is dedicated to my own mother--Virginia, a.k.a. "Ginny"

Of all the lovely poems about mothers, this is perhaps, my most cherished.  It was written by May Sarton to her mother, near the end of May's life.  It becomes more moving with each reading.  Happy Mother's Day sweet creators.

*****

For My Mother
     August 3, 1992

Once more
I summon you
Out of the past
With poignant love,
You who nourished the poet
And the lover.
I see your gray eyes
Looking out to sea
In those Rockport summers,
Keeping a distance
Within the closeness
Which was never intrusive
Opening out
Into the world.
And what I remember
Is how we laughed
Till we cried
Swept into merriment
Especially when times were hard.
And what I remember
Is how you never stopped creating
And how people sent me
Dresses you had designed
With rich embroidery
In brilliant colors
Because they could not bear
To give them away
Or cast them aside.
I summon you now
Not to think of
The ceaseless battle
With pain and ill-health,
The frailty and the anguish.
No, today I remember
The creator,
The lion-hearted.

                    May Sarton
                    1912-1995

*****

May Sarton biography--POETS.org

May Sarton biography--The Poetry Foundation

Cartoon Saturday #7

Woo-hoo!  Cartoon Saturday is when I get to showcase (and I'm completely unbiased)(*wink*) mostly-visual-opinions (cartoons!) on what's happening in the world.  I personally think political cartoonists are geniuses and I totally wish I was one--except I'm not.  So I'm happily content with perusing thousands (ok, millions) of political cartoons every week to bring you the cream of the crop. 

PS--don't laugh too much, er, more realistically perhaps, don't get too depressed!

*****

In no particular order (cuz I'm too tired to fuss with it) ........and the captions in italics are by me this time.

My regular readers know I never miss an opportunity to bash the P-monster

Cuz I would say Bill Maher too ....although Conan's a close second

Real Time With Bill Maher

Friday night's at 10 PM on HBO

i KNEW we were neanderthals

Here's to ineptness!

No ....after YOU

See?  P-monster provides never-ending laughs

(Really? Cuz I'm not laughing)

Whose on first?

to worser ......

Thank-you for letting me become a U.S. citizen

while you were being distracted about walls or some such,

to keep out those pesky, fruit-picking Mexicans!

Ok then, can we get 'sane' if we say 'insane'?

Wait ...come back!  No ...let me catch-up.  No .....just wait! 

The List Version

Ok I know I've been vague about my blog-absence.  As a writer I cringe at this vagueness.  So the stickler soon-to-be-a-professional-writer-hopefully part of me has made a "list version" of yesterday's I'm Back post to assuage my writer's-guilt because there's almost no writer's-crime worse than vagueness. 

But this is a BLOG and "I Blog With Integrity"! (see below, right)  And most of my excuses reasons! for not blogging involves other people/things who/which ........maybe I shouldn't write about?  Herein lies the vagueness.

My solution is a list with special notations where details would not be integrity-less. 

Here goes.  "So I know.  I have been absent." (beginning of yesterday's post) because:

1) I began doubting my focus on You Must Take Your Chance--if you ask me, recipes and cleaning tips don't fit well into the taking-chances department.  I became disappointed in myself.  But friend MEC (hi MEC!) recently pointed out that she likes following blogs in which one day is profound and the next day is a pronounced un-profound.  Which is a very freeing notion for me because, seriously folks, I am a Gemini and a truer-Gemini than moi cannot exist.  I am all over the place in the emotion and intelligence (What? Star signs don't dictate intelligence .........? Are you sure??) departments.  You've probably noticed this if you've been following this blog--some posts are hilarious (in my not-humble opinion) and some are so friggin' deadly serious you all are afraid to comment in case the deadliness is contagious through comment-leaving.

PS--btw that is a distinct trend I've noticed.  Serious posts beget far fewer comments than lighthearted posts.  Which is completely ok.  For me too, it's easier to comment on silly stuff.

So my focus may seem out-of-focus at times.  But I promise I will never forget that I'm writing about taking chances, ok?

2) I think I got quite literally depressed about the earthquake that struck Haiti.  However one of my best posts came out of that tragedy (omg, did I just write that?  Please re-read, fighting off all messages from your brain screaming "INSENSITIVE!" "CRASS!!" SMALL MINDED!!!" SELF-ABSORBED!!!!" I don't mean to sound like I benefited from Haiti's anguish at all), and/but it's one of my favorite posts. 

Haiti-to-90999

3) My friend died.

dear kathleen
Heartbroken Cartoon Saturday

4) I broke-up with boyfriend Steve.  Who I still love.  There!  I said it!!

Dumb Blogger keeps removing this post due to copyright infringement issue.  I have to guess at what they're offended by--then I fix--then they keep having cow over said "issue".  If they would only tell me exactly what they're having a coronary over I would gladly oblige.  Look for link to this post in the future if Blogger & I can ever get on the same page. (darn it! ....it's a good post too)

5) Ex and I continue to be co-dependent and dysfunctional (Alisa--notice how I include myself in this diagnosis?).  So I am in the process of re-defining relationship with Ex because we do have Thing One & Thing Two together and we were married twenty years and (as I've told many of my friends) even though I'm nauseous over how many roses are coming up in his life, I don't exactly wish him death either.  But it's difficult to change your relationship with someone.  The "someone" usually doesn't like it. (The Dance of Anger, anyone? great book on this subject. should read if you have any relationships)

He's loves to "confide" in me occasionally, certain aspects of his love-life.  Which is simultaneously gross and front-row-seat-at-a-train-wreck--ish.  I can't help but be rapt over the second aspect.  The first aspect I could live without.  But therapist has convinced me that neither aspect is good for me.  Ohhh .....if only I didn't Blog With Integrity .......the stories I could tell ........

6) Certain extremely close family members (as in parents)(as in both) have been diagnosed with several, separate, serious medical conditions and have undergone serious procedures these past few months.  Despite this, they are strong and independent and have not needed any help from me.  And despite this, I am sad.

7) The number one you-must-take-your-chance item facing me is .........finding myself a full-time job that is (hopefully) rewarding and gives me a regular stream of wheelbarrows full of self-respect.  Oh and a "giving back to the world somehow" quality would be cool too.  This item scares the living merde out of me. (thanks Delana! you made me think about merde today!!)(oh and sorry, all, for grossness of next-to-last statement)  Yep this one is my super scary monster you must take your chance challenge.  I'm making it sound funny, but I'm not laughing at all .....

My current part-time job at an accounting firm (in which I am simply an administrative assistant but which has gotten me through the past 3 years beautifully) is a great job.  But there is no full-time position available and plus a writer in an accounting firm is rather a square peg ........I need to get seriously job searching.  Now.  And I need this blog to blog about it.  And my boss reads my blog (well he knows about it anyway ....).  If you haven't added 2+2 yet, let me break it down another way: Me looking for another job + Boss reading about said job search=Uncomfortable atmosphere at work.  Or =Me-no-even-part-time-job-anymore.

All is well though.  I've recently spoken to fabulous boss (hi Pat!) about my need to find a full-time position that is both professionally and financially rewarding.  And he completely understands.  So now I can agonize about it here all I want!  I'll bet you can't wait .....

8)  I've gained twenty pounds over the past four years.  Am particularly noticing this "difference" the closer I get to almost-19 & 17-years-ago-pregnancy weight.  WTF!!!!!!!!!!

Don't ask me how this affected my blog writing.  But it did.

9) Experienced Thing-One's first heartbreak with him.  I never realized how heartbreaking it is when your child is heartbroken.

Honestly, this seriously set me back.  Of course I won't blog about it (any more than this).  Thing One is my most loyal reader. (hi Thing One!)  Btw, isn't that dear of him?

10) Did I mention I lost faith in myself?  I just ......did.  Despite my frequent ditzi-ness, I'm also kinda anal and perfectionistic and decidedly not ditzi.  And .....I AM A WRITER.  As such this blog is that seed I'm nurturing.  My standards for my craft are high yet I'm the first to say I'm not "there" yet in the craft.  I've got much to learn and skills to hone.

So please forgive the occasional "dumb", "less than inspiring", "huh?" post.  And forgive my occasional "absences".  I know my Gemini-self well--both will happen occasionally.  Please have faith in me when I've apparently lost faith.  I will eventually find it again.  I will always come back.

Oh duh!  11) I work in an ACCOUNTING FIRM and it was TAX SEASON!

Thank-you! my dear reader-friends for hanging with me.

I'm Back

Hi y'all!  (ummm, no, I haven't acquired a southern accent in my absence ......I'm just trying to set a friendly tone and nothing like a happy 'hi y'all!' for that)

Plus in an email I wrote earlier today, I threw-in a "y'all" and it made me feel good. (Perhaps I should acquire a southern accent?)

So I know.  I have been absent.  I had lunch with a close friend today (hi Patricia!) and when the subject rolled around to my blog, or more precisely the lack of it, Patricia announced that the the last post I'd written was March 7th.  Which shocked me that she knew the date so precisely off the top of her head. 

I'll bet you're also thinking I was shocked to realize it's been nearly two months since my last post.  But I'm not.  You can't write a blog and then not write a blog and be shocked by it's absence.  It's a bit like losing a baby .......and then wondering two months later ........where's the baby?

So I have 5,000 excuses reasons why I have bailed on You Must Take Your Chance but for simplicity's sake let's just distill it down to one--I've been in no shape to take a chance for awhile.  Not to worry.  Nothing earth-shattering has happened to me the likes of which haven't been happening to you either.  Just life.  And my need--as I mentioned in my last post on March 7th, to hiberate (which was a great analogy in March when it was still bitterly cold, but on this balmy day in May isn't working for me) so let's just say my need--to be quiet for awhile. 

My dictionary defines chrysalis as "2. A protected stage of development" (after "1. A pupa, esp. of a butterfly, enclosed in a firm case or cocoon." which is not where I'm going here, although the butterfly metaphor is a lovely one .....perhaps one day?) 

No, I'm not assuming I'm emerging as a butterfly, but this post is assuming that I am emerging, evolved somehow.  I feel the words (wings?) waking up inside me, ready to stretch and feel the sun. 

It feels good to be back ya'll ...... I've missed you.
 

The Weary Kind

Oh my poor bloggy blog!  And readers, let me first fling open the door and sweep away the cobwebs before you come in ......

For reasons, some of them I understand and some of them I don't, I haven't blogged for over two weeks.  I liken it most to hibernation.  My soul is a bit battered I have to admit.  But frankly, who's soul isn't a bit battered?

And double-frankly, what would life be like if everything went smoothly and graced us with only happiness all of the time?  Ick.  Boring.  Vanilla.  Please pinch me and wake me up from this wonderful dream!

I tend to allude to it only occasionally, but really, the reason and focus of this blog is to help me find my way through this period of my life.  If we live long enough (like more than one minute) we are all faced with our changing lives and having to adapt to them.  But certain phases are particularly difficult.  And these days if you're so inclined, there is this opportunity to blog about it.  My sincere hope for anyone who chooses to read this blog is that you find a comaraderie and the occasional inspiration to help you through whatever phase in life you are facing, whether you are finding it particularly difficult or not. 

In other words this is not an online diary but hopefully a living, breathing dialogue that benefits me and you. 

That said, I'm sorry I've bailed on you for the past two weeks.  But honestly it will probably happen again now & then.  It is my way.  Sometimes I need to retreat.  Sometimes I need to hibernate.  I need to rest and lick my wounds.  I need to be alone and to be introspective and to be quiet.  I need to grow and to get stronger.  And I need to wait for my compass to realign and point the way.

*****

Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart

I've seen Crazy Heart twice in so many days--the Jeff Bridges movie in which he's up for best actor tonight?  Ok so it's crazy good.  I will cry my eyeballs out if he doesn't win the Oscar.  Go see it in the theater if you can.  I don't want to spoil it by giving any of it away but let me say this .....I am the biggest fan of music but definitely not a big country music fan.  As a point of illustration I went out of my way a few weeks ago to track down the only non-country music bar in all of Nashville, which I now regret.  If you don't already know Crazy Heart is about a washed-up country-music man ....

(OMG and the literal thousands of parallels to ex-boyfriend musician Steve are literally hysterical starting with when he stumbles out of his beat-up thirty year-old Suburban after a long drive between gigs, with his pants and belt buckle undone .....and ending with when I ask him from my nice little suburban house in Virginia which hotel he's in while he's on the road and he answers he has no idea what f***ing hotel he's in, "Hell I don't even know what f***ing town I'm in!")

.....so after watching Crazy Heart, I realize I should have totally soaked up every bit of country music in Nashville while I had the opportunity.  Nothing like being country music serenaded while staring down hard times.  I should have totally been there.

Country music is perfect for this movie.  And this is a near perfect movie.  Go see it.

I want to leave you with the theme song from Crazy Heart which is also up for Best Original Song tonight and which also could be the theme song for today's post: The Weary Kind, Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

The Weary Kind

(Theme from Crazy Heart)

Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Your Heart's on the loose

You rolled those sevens with

Nothin' to lose

This ain't no place for

The weary kind

You called all your shots

Shootin' eight balls at the corner

Truck stop

Somehow this don't feel like home

Anymore

This ain't no place

For the weary kind

This ain't no place

To lose your mind

This ain't no place to fall behind

Pick up your crazy heart and give it one

More try

Your body aches

From playing your guitar and sweatin'

out the hate

The days and the nights all feel

The same

The whiskey has been

The thorn in your side that

Doesn't forgive

The highway that calls for your

Heart inside

This ain't no place for

The weary kind

This ain't no place to lose your mind

This ain't no place to fall behind

Pick up your crazy heart and give

It one more try

Your lover's warm kiss

Is too damn far from your fingertips

You are the man that ruined the world

Your heart's on the loose

You rolled them sevens with

Nothin' to lose

This ain't no place for

The weary kind

Crazy Heart Official Website